There is a unique stillness to the air this time of year—a quiet that invites us to remember. For those of us walking through this season with an empty chair at the table, the holidays can feel empty and lonely. If you are feeling the weight of missing someone today, please know that your grief is a testament to an eternal cord that never breaks, and living your fullest self is the most beautiful tribute you can offer.
The Permission to Feel Everything
One of the most difficult parts of grieving during the holidays is the feeling that we must be "one way" or the other. We feel we must either stay in sorrow to show we care, or "move on" to make others comfortable.
But the truth is much more beautiful: You can hold joy and sorrow at the same time.
If you find yourself laughing at a story or feeling the warmth of a holiday light, do not let guilt dim that spark. Joy is not a betrayal of your loss; it is a testament to the love that remains. You are allowed to be happy through the tears, and you are allowed to be sad in the midst of the festivities.
The Eternal Cord
Whether a loss is recent or a memory from years ago, the connection doesn't fade with time. Time doesn't cure grief, it separates us from the immediate loss. Grief does not have an expiration date because love does not have an end.
There is an eternal cord that connects us to those we love. It is woven from shared secrets, quiet moments, and the very fabric of our lives. This cord doesn’t break when a life ends; it simply stretches into the infinite.
Those memories are not just ghosts of what was; they are the anchors that keep us steady. You are still connected. You are still theirs, and they are still a part of you.
Honoring Them by Living Truly
There is a powerful, quiet way to honor those we’ve lost: by choosing to be our fullest selves.
We often think that to honor our loved ones, we must remain in the shadows of our grief. But consider that the people who loved us most wanted to see us shine. When we move toward "living truly"—embracing our passions, being kind to ourselves, and showing up authentically—we are giving them the ultimate tribute.
Your fullest self is their legacy. Every time you use a skill they taught you or display a trait they admired, you are bringing them into the present.
Living truly is a form of gratitude. By appreciating the life you have today, you honor the love they invested in you.
Authenticity is the goal. Some days, "living truly" means resting. Other days, it means celebrating. Both are ways of being whole.
Kind Ways to Carry On
As you navigate the coming weeks, try these gentle ways to stay connected to your heart:
Speak Their Name: Don't be afraid to share a story. It keeps their light present in the room.
The Candle of Remembrance: Light a candle to acknowledge their presence in your heart.
Set Soft Boundaries: It is okay to skip traditions that feel too heavy. Your fullest self knows what it needs—trust that instinct.
Small Acts of Self-Kindness: A walk in the cold air, a warm cup of tea, or five minutes of silence. These are the building blocks of healing.
Affirmations for your Heart
- I permit myself to feel joy, knowing it does not diminish my love.
- The eternal cord between us remains unbroken.
- I honor my loved ones by being my truest, fullest self.
- The light of my memories is stronger than the shadow of my grief
The sadness of the holidays is like a winter tide—it comes in waves, but it always recedes. It will pass, leaving behind the solid ground of the love you shared. Be patient with your heart. You are doing the brave work of carrying on and living as best you can while learning how to breathe in a new way.
You are loved, you are connected, and you are allowed to be whole again.